As she landed on her foot, she fell instantly to the dry grass in agony. Everyone around paused and went silent. The only thing you could hear was the sound of Chico State women's soccer player Nicole Fairbanks' voice repeating: "I can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore." Head Coach Kim Sutton hovered over her, agonized and unable to ease the pain. Fairbanks was sure she had torn her ACL just months after recovering from a tear in the other. Now, her heart was torn as well.
 
This unwanted familiar feeling of pain was exactly what Fairbanks had just gotten over the previous year. Having torn her first ACL in October of 2017 during her senior year at Granada High School in Livermore, Fairbanks figured she would be ready to resume training with the rest of her brand new teammates on the Chico State women's soccer team. But upon her arrival, reality hit. She would be unable to play her freshman season.
 
After a year of recovery, Fairbanks was finally fully healed and ready to contribute in the fall of 2019. Instead, she fell during practice and instantly knew she had to go through recovery all over again. While she says it was easier the second time she went through recovery, she admits that the first couple weeks were just going through the motions. Day after day, she went to the athletic training department for rehabilitation and hoped to be back on the field for the 2020 campaign.
 
When COVID hit in March of 2020, an extremely difficult time for many felt like a blessing for Fairbanks. It allowed her time to recover and become the self-confident and strong player she is today. 
 
"It was a mental shift," Fairbanks said. "I thought to myself, I have an opportunity now to come back and show everybody what I can be."
 
She's been a revelation. Fairbanks is one of three Chico State team captains and anchors the CCAA's stingiest defense. The Captain and the 'Cats will host Cal Poly Pomona Friday at 4:30 p.m. and Cal State LA Sunday at 11:30 a.m. with first place in the California Collegiate Athletic Association (CCAA) on the line.
 
Both matches will be broadcast on the CCAA Network and live stats are also available. Links can be found at www.chicowildcats.com in the calendar section on the homepage and on the men's soccer schedule page. Access to the live video stream requires a subscription fee that grants users access to every CCAA event, home and away, on the network.
 
Chico State is off to a 5-1-2 start, including 2-0-0 in the CCAA, having posted five shutouts in eight matches while surrendering a CCAA-low 0.50 goals per match. The Wildcats are ranked No. 16 in the nation and No. 2 in the West Region according to the United Soccer Coaches poll.
 
Fairbanks' point of view has helped key that start. She began to look at soccer and training as more of an opportunity than an obligation. She learned that attitude is everything, and it's all about perspective. 
 
She remembers her first moments back on the field vividly. It was the spring of 2021 and she could finally participate in practices and games after nearly four full years away. Fairbanks recalls telling her mother over the phone that during her first days back, she realized she had forgotten what if felt like to play soccer.
 
"I was so lost for four years," Fairbanks said.
 
On September 4, 2021, Fairbanks was in the starting lineup for the Wildcats' season-opening victory at Azusa Pacific. She played 87 minutes at center back in a 1-0 shutout. It was the first of many. In the 25 matches Fairbanks has played in since the beginning of last season (she missed one with a head injury), the Wildcats have posted 15 clean sheets and a glittering goals-against average of 0.50.
 
Named a team captain, along with Susanna Garcia and Brynn Howard, in the leadup to this 2022 season, Fairbanks's immediate goal is for the Wildcats to be a team that others hate playing against. In the long term, she hopes to help lead the Wildcats to the CCAA Championship and bring home a banner. 
 
As she goes into detail about how excited she is about this season, Fairbanks points out that everyone on the team has fantastic energy and "grit." A term often used by Coach Sutton, grit is something the Chico State women's soccer team celebrates. It is used to describe someone who is fully committed.
 
Fairbanks credits much of her growth, not just as a player, but as a person, to the Chico State women's soccer program. She says she has learned mental toughness and balance. Once she embraced the vision of the program, she was "bought-in" and ready to contribute.
 
Despite the injuries she has endured, and the season lost to COVID, Fairbanks says she wouldn't change anything. Without this experience, she says she wouldn't be who she is today. She says she's learned so much about herself, her teammates, and the coaching and athletic staff. The connections she has made throughout her time have been invaluable.
 
"I am in such a good place right now," Fairbanks said. "Right now, at this moment, I feel like I am on top of the world."
 
She's definitely on top of her game, and plans to stay there. Last week, Fairbanks waltzed into the soccer coaches' office and told Sutton and assistant coach Kat Benton-LaEzza that she was coming back to play for one more season in 2023. The office erupted in cheers. She was surrounded by a terrible silence. But thanks to her steadfast determination, this time Fairbanks was surrounded by the sounds of jubilation.